Driving in Atlanta

Sep 29

MichiUncategorized , Comments Off

Habe ich per Mail von meiner Kollegin Eva geschickt bekommen, trifft einiges zu :-)
Siehe auch mein vorheriger Eintrag Autofahren und Verkehr in Atlanta.

All Realtors should have this printed on a card and had out to all
their customers/clients who arrive here from other cities!!!
HOW TO DRIVE IN Atlanta:

 

  1. You must first learn to pronounce the city name, it is Etlanna
  2. The morning rush hour is from 5:00am to noon. The evening rush hour
    is from noon to 7:00pm. Friday’s rush hour starts on Thursday
    morning.
  3. The minimum acceptable speed on most freeways is 85 mph. Anything
    le ss is considered “Wussy”.
  4. Forget the traffic rules you learned elsewhere. Atlanta has its own
    version of traffic rules For example, cars or trucks with the
    loudest muffler go first at a four-way stop; the trucks with the
    biggest tires go second. However, in Roswell & Alpharetta,
    SUV-driving, cell phone-talking moms ALWAYS have the right of way.
  5. If you actually stop at a yellow light, you will be rear ended,
    cussedout, and possibly shot.
  6. Never honk at anyone. Ever. Seriously. It’s another offense that
    can get you shot.
  7. Road construction is permanent and continuous in all of Atlanta
    and surrounding counties. Detour barrels are moved around for your
    entertainment pleasure during the middle of the night to make the
    next
    day’s driving a bit more exciting.
  8. Watch carefully for road hazards such as drunks, skunks, dogs,
    cats, barrels, cones, celebs, rubberneckers, shredded tires, cell
    phoners, deer and other road kill, and the buzzards feeding on any
    of
    these items.
  9. MapQuest does not work here, none of the roads are where they say
    they are or go where they say they do and all the freeway off and
    on
    ramps are moved each night.
  10. If someone actually has their turn signal on, wave them to the
    shoulder immediately to let them know it has been “accidentally
    activated.”
  11. If you are in the left lane and only driving 70 in a 55-65 mph
    zone, you are considered a road hazard and will be “flipped off”
    accordingly. If you return the flip, you’ll be shot.
  12. Do not try to estimate travel time, just leave Monday afternoon
    for Tuesday appointments, by noon Thursday for Friday and right
    after
    church on Sunday for anything on Monday morning.
  13. Above all else, enjoy your driving experience, because if you
    actually get where you are going on time, everybody else will be
    late

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